Planning Ahead: Why a Thoughtful Funeral Plan Is the Greatest Gift You Can Give...

Most of us don't like to think about death—especially our own. But planning ahead doesn’t mean tempting fate. Talking about death WILL NOT kill you! It fact it is an act of love, clarity, and care for those who you may leave behind. When someone dies without a clear plan in place, your people are left to make many decisions, often within just a few days when they may be under pressure. Planning your funeral in advance removes that burden. It offers comfort, guidance, and space for your people to grieve—rather than guess.

What Is a Funeral Plan?
A funeral plan isn’t necessarily about pre-paying or locking in a package with a specific funeral provider. At its heart, it’s about communicating your values, wishes, and preferences. This might include:

• Whether you’d prefer cremation, burial, or something more eco-conscious
• Who you’d like, or not like, to be involved
• The tone: quiet and contemplative, music-filled and joyous, or something completely unexpected
• Special rituals, readings, songs, or cultural traditions
• A letter, video message, or symbolic item you want to leave behind
• Instructions for your eulogy—or perhaps a simply a poem or story you’d like shared

It’s not about controlling every detail. It’s about setting intentions and giving your people a clear place to start.

Why It Matters
When grief arrives, decision-making becomes harder. People worry about getting it “right.” They second-guess themselves. They may argue over what you would have wanted. A funeral plan is an emotional compass. It helps prevent conflict, confusion, and distress.

But it’s not just for them—it’s also for you. Taking the time to reflect on what matters most and how you want to be remembered can be a surprisingly life-affirming process. It can spark important conversations. It can deepen your relationships. It reminds you that your story matters.

This is not a new idea...Memento Mori is a Latin phrase meaning “Remember you must die.” Far from being morbid, it’s a centuries-old reminder to live with intention, knowing that life is finite. In art, philosophy, and spiritual practice, it encourages us to reflect on what truly matters—and to make peace with our mortality as part of life’s natural rhythm.

Common Myths About Pre-Planning
“I’m too young for that.”
Funeral planning isn't just for the elderly. Accidents and sudden illness happen.
Planning ahead is a kindness—no matter your age.

“My family will know what to do.”
Maybe. But they might not. And even if they do, knowing they’re honouring your clear wishes can bring peace of mind.

“It’s too morbid.”
Actually, many people find it uplifting. Facing mortality honestly can bring greater meaning to life now.

How a Celebrant Can Help
As an independent funeral celebrant, I can help you plan your funeral so it is personal, honest, and meaningful., including pre-need planning sessions, where we talk through your values, beliefs, stories, and hopes.

We don’t need to write a script, but we can create a framework—something you can share with people and store with your important documents. You don’t have to follow any rules. You just have to be you.

What to Do Next

• Start small. Jot down a few thoughts: “I want music,” “No church,” “Read my favourite poem.”
• Have a conversation. Let your next of kin or trusted friend know you’re thinking about it.
• Consider meeting with a celebrant or end-of-life doula to explore your ideas.
• Write it down, and store it somewhere safe—perhaps with your Will or Advance Care Directive.

Final Thoughts
We spend so much of life making things easier for those we love—meals, school pick-ups, quiet support in tough times. A thoughtful funeral plan is one final gift. It says: “I’ve got you. Even now.”
If you’re curious, ready to begin, or don’t know where to start, I’d be honoured to help.

Let’s Keep the Conversation Going
Have you ever thought about planning your own funeral—or helped someone else with theirs? What would you want your ceremony to feel like? I’d love to hear your thoughts, stories, or questions in the comments below.