funeral blogThe following blog posts explore funeral ceremony as an intentional, meaningful act and offers practical guidance on ritual, words, and participation.
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Today, many people assume that when someone dies, the next step is to call a funeral director and engage a celebrant. Professional support can be deeply valuable, but it is important to remember that these services are options, not obligations. Families may choose to work with a funeral director, a celebrant, both, or neither. A meaningful funeral does not depend on the presence of professionals. It depends on whether the farewell reflects the life, values, culture, and relationships of the person who has died and the needs of those who remain. This question, who holds a funeral?, sits at the heart of modern death care. From Community Ritual to Commercial ServiceThe funeral industry in Australia has undergone profound change. Glennys Howarth (2000) describes the increasing professionalisation and commercialisation of the funeral industry as a major cultural shift. What was once largely community-led became increasingly structured through professional service models. This shift has brought important benefits. Funeral directors provide logistical support, transportation, care of the body, legal compliance, and coordination at a time when families are often overwhelmed. Yet Howarth also warns that commercialisation can reshape the meaning of funerals themselves. She describes the risk of the "McDonaldisation" of funerals, where highly personal, culturally distinct, and community-led rituals may be replaced by standardised service packages and institutional processes. That phrase remains deeply relevant. When services become increasingly standardised, families may begin to assume there is a single correct way to farewell the dead. There is not. What Families Can ChooseOne of the most important things families can know is that they have choices. A funeral may be:
Families can choose professional support for some elements and retain others themselves. For example, a family may use a funeral director for transport and legal requirements, while leading the ceremony themselves. They may engage a celebrant solely for ritual and structure. Or they may choose a fully family-led farewell. The important point is that these decisions belong to the family. The Role of Funeral Directors and CelebrantsFuneral directors and celebrants offer different kinds of support. Funeral directors generally manage practical and legal matters, including:
Celebrants work more directly with ceremony and meaning-making through: storytelling
Both roles can be enormously valuable. But neither replaces the central role of family and community. Professionals support the fun They do not own it. My Role as Celebrant and Death Care AdvocateIt is also important to acknowledge that not all celebrants work in the same way. Some celebrants focus exclusively on ceremony. Others, myself included, also work in an advocacy role. In my own practice, death care advocacy is a central part of the support I offer. This means helping families understand that they have genuine choices. That may include discussing:
This is not a role every celebrant takes on, and it is important to be clear about that. For me, advocacy is about supporting family agency and helping people navigate death care in a way that aligns with their values, culture, and financial circumstances. What the Research Tells Us About the IndustryThe research by van der Laan and Moerman (2017) is particularly important here. Their report, It's Your Funeral: An Investigation into Death Care and the Funeral Industry in Australia, examines the contemporary Australian funeral sector and raises serious concerns about transparency, pricing structures, market concentration, and consumer vulnerability during grief. They note that increasing corporatisation and consolidation have contributed to reduced transparency and less obvious choice. Importantly, they show how funeral services are often presented as bundled packages, which can make it difficult for families to distinguish between what is legally required, what is customary, and what is optional. This matters because grief can make decision-making extraordinarily difficult. When people are vulnerable, exhausted, and in shock, they are less likely to question assumptions. That is precisely why education and advocacy matter. Knowing Your Rights MattersAlongside the broader cultural and commercial changes identified by Howarth (2000) and van der Laan and Moerman (2017), families also need clear practical information about their rights. The Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC) outlines consumer rights and business obligations within the funeral sector, including the expectation that pricing and services be presented clearly and without misleading conduct. Likewise, NSW Fair Trading requires funeral goods and services pricing to be transparent and itemised. This is especially important at a time when grief can narrow a family's capacity to process information and compare options. Clear information helps families understand what is required, what is optional, and where they may wish to make different choices. Families should feel empowered to:
Returning Funerals to Family and CommunityI believe we are seeing a quiet shift. More people are beginning to ask:
These are powerful questions. They return the focus to relationship, memory, ritual, and community. Professional support absolutely has its place. But funerals begin with love, grief, memory, and belonging. That is where they have always belonged. Final ThoughtsSo, who holds a funeral? At its heart, the answer is simple. The family does. The community does. The people who loved the person who has died do. Funeral directors and celebrants may offer practical, ceremonial, and emotional support, but they are supports, not requirements. I believe deeply in helping families reclaim confidence in their own choices. The most meaningful funerals are not necessarily the most polished or the most expensive. They are the ones that feel true. Join the conversation...I’m here to help and will respond to every comment. References
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