We often talk about funerals as if they are just a formality, a symbolic event, or a matter of personal taste. From the perspective of how humans actually work, that misses the point. A funeral is not decoration. It is essential social infrastructure.

​Across cultures, funerals function as a kind of social technology. They help us absorb the shock of a death, share the weight of grief, and begin to restore order after a profound disruption. When we cut these rituals short, skip them, or do not do them at all, grief does not simply get quieter or more private. Its very shape changes.